Ran a half marathon today – 13.1 miles in Allentown, PA. If I had run it alone, it would be chalked up as just another race, despite having PR’d (set a personal record). But any race with the HARD runners is special. I attempted to describe the experience but words are failing me. I can’t convey how awesome this group is. Everything I’ve attempted to write falls short of how much I appreciate them and how thankful I am to be a part of the group. So I’ve posted Krumy’s humorous account of the race instead. (Sandy Krum – in the yellow on the left) Enjoy!

Some of the group….looking like a bunch of colorful Easter eggs!

Lehigh Valley Half Marathon thoughts…

by Sandy Krum

Mile 1 – This is further away than it was last year.

Mile 2 – OK, I made it two, 11.1 to go.

Mile 3 – Still have feeling in the toes, right foot getting a little tender.

Mile 4 – Aren’t we ever going to turn around?!

Mile 5 – Ugh, left foot toes getting numb… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…

Mile 6 – Still running, one step closer than the last one…

Mile 7 – Just passed the halfway, only another hour or so and you can stop

Mile 8 – Crap!!! Both my feet hurt, thoughts of chopping off toes run rampant through my mind. Nicole speaks offering distraction and speaks of condition of the porta potty she stopped at… let’s just leave that to your imagination!

Mile 8.? – Runner down, thinking of laying on the ground beside her to console her – hey we’re all in this together right??? No need, two guys stop and one has cell phone.

Mile 8. ?? – Gotta stop, someone just dropped an anchor on my back, can’t do the hill – are my legs moving backwards?

Mile 9 – Run a little, walk a little….

Mile 10 – Run very little, walk a LOT more.. Nicole says we’re going to finish at 2:30… my thoughts – you’re out of your mind, not in this body, bad words, bad words… Lord, I apologize….

Mile 11 – Why do they put those little annoying hills at the end of the race, don’t they know I’m tired??? Good grief, will the run through the park ever end… Oh, look at the guys playing Frisbee golf, I need to take up Frisbee golf and give up this running stuff.

Mile 12 – OK feet, don’t give up on me now. Back through the next park, lady singing 50’s songs… I can’t sing, maybe I’ll take up singing and give up this running stuff.

Mile 12.?? – Making the turn out of the park, yay, I hear the drums… or is that the sound of my throbbing feet??

Mile 12.??? – It is the drums!!! There is the turn to the stadium, oh wonderful – another hill, who is that wild woman jumping around up there? Oh – it’s the village idiot and her friends

Mile 13.? – We’re on the track, thank you God! Nicole asks if I’m going to sprint the last 100 yards – only if sprinting is down on my knees and hands!!! I’ve worn my feet off, there is no feeling.

Mile 13.Last Curve – Nicole says we’re going to cross the finish line with a smile. Dear God, please help this woman, she has totally lost her mind… feet are trying to go a little faster… time on clock 2:38… that’s 10 minutes better than last year… there’s the camera… smile!!! I think I did, it’s either me clenching my teeth or it’s a smile…it’s better to smile than to let the world see your tears…. Get the finishers medal, take a foil blankie… water… walk to the end… try to step down – hey! who stole the bones out of my legs?!

Half Marathon aftermath….

1st hour – the feeling is back in my toes… please go away, please go away, hurts, hurts!!!! Time to walk back and get food… Look at that line – I do not want food that bad. Offerings from Nicole and Bonnie – food – no thanks, no enegy left to peel a banana. Going to start walking to the car – you guys catch up. Walking down hill, thoughts of laying down and rolling down to the bottom – probably faster than walking and can’t be this painful. Make it to about 30 feet of car, shoot, there is a curb I have to step down…. Maybe they will come and pick me up… OK, made it down the 1st curb, ugh, now I have to step up… you know, this isn’t a very handicap friendly curb – where is the wheelchair access??? Finally reach the car, crawl in. Shoes… must … come off… Drive away from race… Is there a way out of this town??? I am calling off dead tomorrow. They blocked off every street… they don’t want us to leave. .. hey that’s where we started the race… drive more … 15 minutes later … hey, that’s where we started the race…. Drive another ten minutes… ask police officer for directions… hey that’s where we were parked… Mickey finally gets mapquest going on the blackberry, There is a way out of this town…. Where’s the restraunt??? Finally find Carraba’s… we’re 15 minutes early, wait in car…

2nd Hour – The restraunt is open, we have 7, your bathrooms are where??? Thanks, you do have showers right? OK, hostess does not have sense of humor. Bathroom, only 3 stalls, offers to share a stall – thanks but I know you well enough!! Stall available… good grief – does anyone have scissors? I can’t get my bra off.

Voice from next stall – “crap!!! Where are my clothes?? Oh, they are out in the van in my other bag”

My stall – “go get them”

Next stall – “yeah right!”

Mother Bonnie – “I’ll get them for you”

Next stall – Thank you!!!

My stall – “arrrgggghhhhh!”

Next stall – “You OK?”

My stall – “I just sat down, that was soooooo painful”

Next stall – “wait till you get up”

My stall – “I’m not getting up, tell them to bring my food in here!”

The group at the restaurant

Next scene at the table: Menu, has writing on it…. I know I used to be able to read… eyes are as tired as the rest of the body. Must read slowly…

Bread is here!!! Oh, it’s warm… this would feel so good as a pillow… Eat 3 loaves of bread, drink beer. Mmmmmmmm Beer, the nectar of goodness. Some food comes – Nicole is that a swimming pool? Wow, I’ve never seen a bowl of soup that big…. Pizza is here… mmmm. Food vanished.

Nicole and her bucket of soup!

Time to go, what’s that shrieking noise? Oh, it’s me – I just stood up. Move toward doors, push open door – turn to the left, c’mon feet turn. Bonnie “yes Sandy, that is a wall” Me – “just be happy you don’t have to carry me to the car” Why did we park so far away?

Back in the car – hey did we pass that on the way up??? I don’t know. Everything was blurry going 80 miles an hour down route 78. The throbbing in my feet has begun to diminish. Continue down 78, think about driving from Annville to Palmyra… why did I drive my mustang this morning??? What was I thinking? It’s stick, I’ll have to move my legs to shift… maybe I can just drive in first the whole way…

Hour 3 – Home – I’m home!!! Greet family, greet Cooper – why is the dog the only one who is REALLY Happy I’m home? Show off medal, lay down on couch – close eyes.. two hours later I’m able to roll off the couch and hobble to the bathroom. The throbbing in my feet has now spread to the ankles and calves… take 2 advil… say goodbye to daughter and boyfriend. Need to go down for laundry, why did they put the washer and dryer downstairs? Turn on computer, check HARD posts, begin reflecting on marathon.

7 PM – bed, need bed… lay down, find position that doesn’t hurt – doesn’t exist. Lay on side, when I need to move I can lean far enough to fall on the stomach or back. Rolling over is not an option! Watch tv – I saw the Simpson’s start, never saw it end.

3 AM – war between bladder and legs. Bladder wins, trip to the bathroom. Sit down… I’m never going to get up again. Manage to get up without too many screams. Make it to the kitchen, two more advil… back to bed. Ache has moved from ankles and calves to the thighs and hips.

7 AM – woof! Just pee in the house – I can’t move! Slurp – OK OK!!! Take dog out, manage to get back in the house and get dishwasher unloaded, pot of coffee made. Walk to shower. Hot water… ahhh!!! Drag myself to the car, drive to work. The ache is now spread from the feet to the waist. Only thing that doesn’t hurt is my hair.

8 AM – work, time to rest. I’m so glad I have a job that I can sit. Think about next run… NOW I’ve lost my mind… I’ve become a village idiot